Cold as the snow outside

As I sit here warm and snuggly in my bed during the last few minutes of day 356, my head is spinning. I should be sleeping but there is too much on my mind.

Outside it is snowing like it rarely does in NC. Maybe we have endured the bitter cold this winter has dished out and this is our reward. Who knows? I'm guessing we have around 4-5 inches already and we still have another 15 or so hours of precipitation. Woo Hoo!! There is something about a snowy night that is so peaceful. My sweet baby girl went to bed right on time at 8pm as usual. She was too tired to worry about the white stuff. Even though it is 11:45, Justin is still downstairs watching tv and Andy is in there with him, though in reality, he is just snoozing on the couch. Men are so funny! Yes it is a peaceful night, especially if you step out on the porch and take in the scene outside.

While the outside is super peaceful tonight, my heart is not. I received a call this week from an old friend to tell me he and his wife were seperating. It sent me into deep thought. Not long ago I read the blog of a gentleman I have never met. His topic was divorce. He said, in no uncertain terms, that, if your marriage isn't working, you need to decide whether your problem is really with your spouse, or if it is with God. If your relationship with God is off, it will spill over into other areas of our life as well and that you should make sure you understand who your relationships problems are really with. It made sense. I don't know who is to blame with my friends, but obviously someone in the relationship is ready to call it quits. I am so very sad for them. How hard must it be to know one person holds your whole life in their hands? Actually, I guess all of us who are married know how that feels. Maybe what I mean to say is, how hard must it be when the person who holds your world in their hands, suddenly doesn't care anymore? I have never been in that place and I hope I never am! My heart aches for my friends as they try to figure out how to move forward with their lives...with their kids...and they try to find a new kind of normal. As I look outside tonight at the frigid snow, I think of my friends and wonder if that is what their broken hearts feel like. Love is warm and conforting, but the bitter chill of heartbreak is unforgettable. Dear friends, if you read this, you are in my thoughts and prayers.

Are you sure you read that scale right?

OMG...WI last night was awesome!! I lost 5.8 lbs in one week. Yay me...way to make up for last week! That brings my total to 7.8 and with an average of around 2.5/week. Since my goal is 1-2 lbs per week, I am lovin' it! WW is awesome! I know it won't always be this easy so I'm wallowing in it while I can. I swear though, when that lady wrote down -5.8, I was thinking "Did she read that right?" I mean, I did eat at the CCF after all!

Not to much going on in the Wilkes house this week worth writing about. Bullets seem more appropriate today.

• Waiting for report cards
• Justin is trying to change two of his classes...as usual. He never likes the schedule when the semester starts.
• Justin passed his Precalc test with an 80 after the retest! Thank goodness!!
• Karley is still struggling and we are still looking for the reasons.
• Andy and Justin are starting to think about race season cranking up.
• Softball signups are beginning...Andy will coach again this year.
• Basketball is going well for Justin...he is playing much better this year.

358 days till 40 and 24 weeks 'til the beach and honestly, all is well.

A good week...

So far, since my last post, this has been a good week.

Saturday was a really good day! I walked 3 miles on the treadmill in the morning while Andy worked on his bike in the garage. We ate lunch at home (a mini goal of mine...eat out less!!). Justin and his basketball team won their game by a nice margin! Karley left with Grandpa, Shelia, Ashley and Jordan to spend the night. Andy and I went to the Cheesecake Factory at Southpark Mall to celebrate my birthday together. That was an especially nice treat because we rarely go out just the two of us. I thought several times about inviting someone to go with us, but decided against it so we could spend quality time together.


What can you say about the Cheesecake Factory? It is so yummy! And for me, it has nothing to do with the cheesecake. The Chicken Madeira has stolen my heart! It is hard for me to order anything different (although the Chicken Piccata is very good as well). It is a huge platter of food, but this time, I figured it all out. I had a salad prior to the entree...gotta get them veggies in!! Then I only at about a 3rd of the dish and let me tell you, I was stuffed! I took the rest home and had two more meals. And, I found the bright side in that deal too. I was able to eat CCF for 3 meals that week!! Oh, and I can not forget about the Georgia Peach! I am not a drinker by nature. I generally have a 'take it or leave it' attitude towards alcohol. However, this frozen concoction is to die for. It is a frozen glass of yummy peachy goodness, swirled with some raspberry puree for good measure! Wow...if you ever have one, it will haunt you it is so good!!

Anyway, after dinner, we went to Midtown and watched people sing karaoke! I love watching people sing like that. It is so funny...almost like American Idol without the judges!


Sunday morning, Justin and I went to my moms for lunch and to use her oven (since ours is totally broken!). Sometimes ya just gotta bake! It was a fun, relaxing day and it gave Andy some 'man time' at the house.


Work this week has been...uneventful. Same as usual. Karley has kept me busy. She is really struggling in school right now and Andy and I (with Margaret's help) are trying to figure out how to help her. That is a task when you have no idea where to start. We have yet to figure out what the real problem is.

Anyway, 359 days to go and tonight, I weigh in. Ugh...

364 days, 25 wks and counting

My birthday was, well, my birthday. I don't really expect alot from it. I learned 15-20 years ago that if you expect much, you're always setting yourself up for disappointment. (I guess, I'm the trainable one in our relationship!!) I've had better and I've had worse.

It's Friday night and I've done 90% of my grocery shopping (to the tune of $210!) and I've also done about 80% of my house cleaning. Yay me!! I am now watching Runaway Bride and being lazy. It feels so good to be ahead of the game instead of behind the 8 ball. I'm contemplating adding 'be more orgainized' to my list of things to accomplish this year.

Suddenly I am quite sleepy! More later. G'night

The last day of 38...

What a dull, uneventful day it was! Work is driving me insane. It is so dull and boring that I drive myself crazy sitting! I never thought I would complain about getting paid to do almost nothing. Ugh...

Dinner tonight was Chicken Marsala. Yummy! It turned out pretty well. I will make it again.

It was basically like this:
-Pound out chicken breasts and cut into medallions
-Lightly flour and brown in small amt olive oil
-Remove from pan
-Deglaze with Marsala wine
-Add chicken broth, chicken and mushrooms to pan
-Simmer until chicken is done (5-10 min?)
-Combine a little broth with a little cornstarch and wisk into wine/broth mixture in pan
-Simmer a few more minutes
-Serve over egg noodles or rice


I have decided that I must get a grip on my housework. I am so uninterested! I am not a good multitasker anymore and my focus has been elsewhere lately! I guess that might be my weekend project.

My random thought today (among others) was that guys are lucky. They never have to deal with PMS or hormonal imbalance or any of the other exclusively girlie things. Girls, you know what I mean. The way you just don't feel like yourself. Today, I felt like I must eat all day! It was like I was possessed which was odd for me because just a few days ago I wasn't sure I was actually eating enough on my WW plan. However, as I looked in the mirror tonight before bed, I was past it. I was full and happy and felt myself again. Guys will NEVER really understand that feeling. And they will never really understand how it is completely beyond our control. :-(

Tomorrow is a new day. Please Lord, let it be a good one!

It's all fun and games until somebody gains...

Yeah...the fun is gone from WI day. Yesterday I was + 0.4 lbs. Nice! Gotta work a little harder this week. I like negative numbers (unless they're in my checkbook!).

The Lord giveth...

...and the Lord taketh away. This snippet, from the book of Job has been in my head all day. Though I'm not sure when it came to me or what prompted it, I have a sneaking suspicion. This week a high school classmate of mine lost her husband of 20 years. He was 1 year older than Andy and I. Now normally I would be sad for her, read the obituary and go on with my day. However, since I am married to a man with a family history of heart problems, this was scary. Now let me be clear! I am not talking about someone in his family had a heart attack...or even died of the heart attack. I have been told that, other than my father-in-law, no man on the Wilkes side has lived past the age of 50. Really? That is sobering. And while I have known this for quite awhile, it never really had a profound effect on me until I imagined my classmate, who is my age, facing the rest of her life without her husband, without the father of her children, without, perhaps, her best friend. Needless to say, I am not ready for this phase of my life.

The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away! We must remember, in between the two, to be thankful and cherish each day we are given with those we love most. We were never really promised tomorrow. One day, when we least expect it, the Lord WILL taketh away.

Looking ahead...

Today will be weigh in day...end of week two. I love WI day. I get so excited. That excitement might be squashed when I have my first bad WI, but for now, I get really excited. I just can't wait to see how I did. Even though I have a scale in the garage (with the treadmill), I refuse to get on it right now. I guess I like the anticipation of wondering how it will all turn out on Tuesday night.

Anyway, this week I have been looking ahead...ahead to summer (25 weeks from Saturday we will be headed to the beach!!) and ahead to turning 40. My birthday is this week and I will be 39 years old. That means in 367 days, I will be 40. Wow! That is alot to process...alot to take in. When are we really on the down hill slope...no longer climbing to the peak of our life, but sliding downward toward the end? I suppose in alot of regards, that choice is up to us. My goal is to spend this last year in my 30's preparing for 40. Not preparing for the downhill slide, but more preparing to postpone it. This is my year of change. I know once I hit 40 there will be all kinds of excuses why I can't change so I am starting early.

My halfway point will be our week at the beach...25 weeks from now. At that point I will assess the situation and see where I am. Once I am more comfortable with my goals for change, I will log them here.

The first goal, which I am already working on, is to get back down to a weight that makes me happy and healthy. I am not sure what that number is yet but I will decide as time goes on. To accomplish that goal, I am working on changing my eating habits (with the help of WW) and spending more time with my treadmill. I am cooking more, eating out less, packing my lunch and learning to generally plan ahead with regard to food. And so far, I am enjoying it. When I buy my first pair of jeans in a smaller size, I will enjoy it even more. :-)

I would also like to learn to relax without being lazy and make the best choices for myself without feeling guilty. I don't have a game plan for either of those yet!

No matter what, 367 days from now, I want to be happy with who I am and the direction in which I am headed. I want to be embracing life as I turn 40, rather than wondering "Is this the beginning of the end?".

Damage Control

This week is birthday week in my family. My sister and I were both born in January, exactly 7 yrs and 7 days apart. We usually celebrate our birthday together one way or another. Sometimes it is a family dinner. Sometimes just the two of us go out to lunch together or with our mom. This year, we decided to celebrate with a girls night out. We had both been wanting to go to The Melting Pot and had never been. Both having rather impatient husbands, we knew this fondue restaurant probably was not the place for them. So we enlisted a few friends and made a plan. All of this was planned before I joined WW, obviously, because who in there right mind would plan a dinner involving bread, cheese, chocolate, etc. while simultaneously counting points. Hence, the damage control. Saturday morning, I had to dig out the treadmill, which has been buried in the garage since my ankle injury last year, and put it to work. After 1.5 miles yesterday and 1.75 miles today, I feel much better about dinner last night. Btw...it was sooo gooood! And really, even though it was not what I would consider 'on plan', it really wasn't too bad. Yes there was bread and cheese and chocolate with yummies for dipping, but the bread was in small pieces and there was only one soup bowl of it for the three people on our end of the table. The chocolate was awesome too, but again, there wasn't alot of it and it was shared. The entree was awesome, but still rather healthy...shrimp with a little steak, chicken and bratwurst. Everything is bite size for the most part so it is hard to stuff yourself. Anyway, the food was good, the stories were better and the laughter was priceless. I think we all need a little more laughter in our lives.
Oh yeah...we have several more birthdays coming up in the next few months. I you have a yummy 'girls night' suggestion in the greater Charlotte area, please let me know.

Week one---(2.4)

Well, after one week of Weight Watchers, things are going well. I lost 2.4 lbs and honestly, I didn't put forth a huge effort. I made the decision to start this journey at the last minute without alot of planning. So, our refrigerator was full of 'non-diet' foods...think fatty treats! Since I refuse to waste good food, it had to be eaten until it was used up. So, after signing up on Tuesday night, it was actually Saturday before I started eating on plan. All things considered I am very pleased with the number I came away with! We shall see what next week holds. I can honestly say that I see why going to meetings works. They don't tell you some little known secret to lose weight. It is the accountability. I want to produce on tuesday night. I want to get on that scale and see the lady write down a negative number. If I were doing it at home, I could lie about the number...or forget to weigh...or whatever. I have paid for meetings and I am going to meetings. And when I go, I will have to get on that scale and they will write the number down in my little book....IN INK! That my friends, motivates me!!

Merry Christmas, Happy Anniversary, Birthday and Valentines Day

I got my 'big purchase' for the year this week. You know the one. It covers every holiday from December to February. Last year it was a lap top. (But to be fair, I did get an anniversary gift also.) This year it was my new camera. I have been waiting for this camera for almost a year. I love it...though I know I will love it more as I learn to use it better. I know I will love it because I have seen how much Heather loves hers. :-) Now I cant wait for our trip to Georgia or for race season to start. Soon enough I will be snapping away. Stay tuned for what is now sure to be my photo blog!

Handbook for 2010

This was sent to me by a good friend. It seemed like words to live by.

Handbook for 2010

Health:
1. Drink plenty of water.
2. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a beggar.
3. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less food that is manufactured in plants..
4. Live with the 3 E's -- Energy, Enthusiasm and Empathy
5. Make time to pray.
6. Play more games
7. Read more books than you did in 2009 .
8. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day
9. Sleep for 7 hours.
10. Take a 10-30 minutes walk daily. And while you walk, smile.

Personality:
11. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
12. Don't have negative thoughts or things you cannot control. Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment.
13. Don't over do. Keep your limits.
14. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
15. Don't waste your precious energy on gossip.
16. Dream more while you are awake
17. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need..
18. Forget issues of the past. Don't remind your partner with His/her mistakes of the past. That will ruin your present happiness.
19. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone. Don't hate others.
20. Make peace with your past so it won't spoil the present.
21. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.
22. Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn. Problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away like algebra class but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.
23. Smile and laugh more.
24. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree...

Society:
25. Call your family often.
26. Each day give something good to others.
27. Forgive everyone for everything..
28. Spend time w/ people over the age of 70 & under the age of 6.
29. Try to make at least three people smile each day.
30. What other people think of you is none of your business.
31. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch.

Life:
32. Do the right thing!
33. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
34. GOD heals everything.
35. However good or bad a situation is, it will change..
36. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
37. The best is yet to come.
38. When you awake alive in the morning, thank GOD for it.
39. Your Inner most is always happy. So, be happy.

Chicken with Cider and Bacon Sauce: A Healthy Choice

Found this 6 pt recipe on recipegirl.com and it looked so good, I had to share! Link to recipe below...

Chicken with Cider and Bacon Sauce: A Healthy Choice

Posted using ShareThis

No Relocation Policy (I'm getting a tennis racket!)

Last night at our house could only be described as insanity. It was 8:40. I know this because I sent Justin up at 8:30 for his shower. I was ready for bed. Karley was not feeling well and was downstairs on the couch. She had JUST finally fallen asleep. I had put Layla out to go to the bathroom before bed so I went to the garage to let her back in. As I came back inside and closed the door, I saw something in my peripheral vision. A butterfly? Not at night in the winter!! A bird? Had a little lost bird flown in the house? Oh no...not even close! It was a freakin' rabid attack bat! (For the record, our last encounter with bats ended up with Andy being chased up the driveway by a swarm of angry bats!!)
I ran through the house cursing and hollaring for Justin. He was the manliest (is that a word?) option at this point. He came downstairs to check it out. Of course my shouting woke Karley up. "Crawl!" I said. "Get on the floor and crawl! Up the stairs, to your room and shut the door. You'll be safe there!" That child is freaked out if you come around the corner too fast. A rabid attack bat flying around in the house might scar her for life. As the bat flew in circles in the living room/dining room, I decided I should protect myself. I was not near as brave or excited as Justin. Fifteen year olds are just crazy and this was adventurous for him. I crawled to my bedroom and shut the door except for a little crack to peek out. I had the phone, but just wasn't sure who to call. Andy was playing basketball so the chance of actually reaching him was pretty slim. So, of course, I called my sister. I just needed someone to talk to while I tried to figure out what to do. Her advice was containment. Good point! We must limit the bats access to the house or we might never get it out. Justin and I managed to hang sheets across the open doorways to try to keep it away from the upstairs. By now it had found it's way to the family room and was circling in there. I decided if I couldn't reach Andy, the next best thing was Jason.
Me: "Sorry to call so late, but there is a bat in my house. I need help!"
Jason: "What is it with your family and bats? I'll be over in a minute."
Me: "Bring a tennis racket!!"
By now it was getting pretty cold inside. With the doors open (to let him out if he chose to leave) and it hovering around 30 degrees outside, it doesnt take long to lose all the heat in the house.
Finally, lights in the driveway. Jason arrived (with the tennis racket).
Me: "Thank goodness your fianlly here!"
Jason: "Good Lord! That's a big bat. I'm going home!"
Me: "Please don't leave me! If you leave the bat here, the kids and I are going with you!"
This went on for 10 mins or so. The bat was flying round and round. If you dared to enter the room, he appeared to come towards you. Yikes!! At this point I am huddled on the floor, behind the sheet covering one of the doors, peeking through the crack to see if the bat is still there. The stupid bat refused to leave the house! I guess Jason had had enough because the next thing I know... bam...down he went. I don't know if he was dead or just really stunned but he was lying on the floor. Justin opened the window and chucked him out with a fireplace shovel. Free at last, free at last!
Who whould've thought, in the dead of winter, out of nowhere, a bat flies in the house. Honestly, it isn't like I left the door open. It was 30 degrees outside for goodness sake. Maybe he was living in the garage and I just never noticed. It always seems to be something with that garage. We can't get a car in it anymore for all the other stuff. There is always a snake or a mouse or something out there waiting to torture me. I am prepared for it. However, I have a "No relocation policy". If the animals want to live, they don't come in the house (with the exception of Layla). I think I got that from my grandma and mom.
The newest addition to my Walmart shopping list? You guessed it...a cheap tennis racket. When you have an attack bat in the house, nothing else will do!

New Year....New You

We are in the midst of what has been called a 'once in a generation cold snap'. When I left the house this morning, the temperature was 15 degrees. This is not NC weather. WTH!! Anyway, the last few days my mind has been at the coast. Perhaps, because of this abnormal cold, my mind is seeking warm, sunny thoughts. Perhaps it is because we are trying to finalize some of the plans for our family vacation. Either way, this thought process has taken me to my annual 'get in shape, lose weight' resolution. Me and my body both know that it is normally short lived. Some times I make it to February...sometimes longer. Once I even made it to the summer beach week. Still, it was not a long term, lifestyle change. Nonetheless, I keep making the resolution. I figure a little try is better than none at all. This year, I am inspired. I won't say inspired more than usual, but I am inspired. Because we have been talking about beach days, I have realized that I have 25 weeks until we hit the beach. Working it out in my mind, I should be able to lose 25-50 lbs in that time frame. The widely accepted healthy standard is 2 lbs per week...right? In all fairness, that never happens every week, hence the 25-50lbs. If I can't average 1 lb per week, well, that's just sad and I need to work a little harder. So, tonight, I go to my first WW meeting with my friend Heather. I have used WW online before but never have gone to meetings. I am excited. The prospect of being somewhat happy about putting on a bathing suit is inspiring. Also, race season is almost upon us again. While I don't ride, it still takes a little stamina to hike all over creation (think over the river and through the woods...literally!!) Anway, it's time to move the treadmill back out into the open and dust it off and start eating healthier food. WW's slogan this time of year is "New Year, New You". Sounds good to me...